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The Gateway One: iMac on Crack

September 28, 2007 Leave a comment

Gateway One (choke, cough)

Can somebody tell Gateway to stop feeding crack cocaine to their designers?

Earlier this week, Gateway announced the new Gateway One PC. It is pictured above in all its hideousness. Allow me to explain what happened in this situation: Gateway purchased 10 iMacs for their 10 most daring and creative designers. Then they locked them in a room and fed them Cheetos and crack cocaine for one solid month.  They were given one impossible task: to create an iMac killer.

Some of these designers had so much crack cocaine that they began feeding it to the iMacs. The Gateway One is the result of that. As the iMacs became strung out on drugs (along with the designers), they actually became deformed and discolored into the shape that you see in the new Gateway One PC.

THIS IS WHY ILLEGAL DRUGS ARE DANGEROUS.

Gateway’s new iMac ripoff all-in-one PC costs MORE than the iMac, even though the iMac has a bigger screen, faster processor, better design, and an actual graphics board (you can pay for the $1800 model to get a better graphics card).

Besides the fact that your USB and Firewire (400) cables will have to come pouring ungracefully out of the side, it looks like the thing could tip over at the slightest breeze. Take a look at the wimpy stand for this beast:

Wimpy stand

I predict that this PC will appeal largely to the drug user market, which is good, since they won’t remember much about their “user” experience.

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